The One Where Harry's A Tool.

"Ginny, hey! Listen my broomstick's been unattended for a while, so if you-"

*thwack*

"Really, Potter?"

"Oww. Shut up, Malfoy. Maybe she's got her - you know -..."

"You honestly don't know why she hit you?"

"I can't help that the Weasleys are a bit viole-"

"Merlin Golden Boy, you're dimmer than a troll!"

"Wait. What?"

-----

"But you'll love it! There's no need to be afraid! It's long and firm and thick, so when you'll mount it -"

*thwack* *thwack*

"Heeerrrmmiioonneee"

"Potter."

"Wha-! Malfoy are you following me?"

"Did you actually say those words to Granger?"

"I was just trying to help her get over her irrational fear of broomsticks and flying!"

"You're an actual idiot. A git. An outright ogre."

"MALFOY!"

-----

"Harry come on!"

"Wait I'll have to just grab my wand before I come!"

*thwack*

"Malfoy. Sod off and stop sniggering!"

"You're such a dork, Potter."

"Careful Malfoy, that tone sounds slightly affectionate."

"I'll hex you."

"Right. Sorry."

-----

"Malfoy give me a hand, would you?"

"Sure Potter, but, out here? In front of your Gryffindors?"

"Did you just agree? Well, of course right now!"

"Harry stop talking. Ferret stop hitting on my friend."

"But Ron, frankly speaking Draco is the only one who hasn't 'hit' me these past few hours!"

"Never thought I'd see a day where the Weasel was smarter than our dear Scarhead."

"Shut it, Malfoy. Harry let's go."

"Ron wait. Malfoy, help us out!"

"Sorry, 'Harry', I need to go 'attend' to my broomstick."

"Ugh Malfoy."

"What? Okay, help us out now, I'll help you with your broom later!"

*thwack*

"RON!"

"Oh Merlin, my sides ... Potter, you're precious!"

"Maallfooyyy, there's that tone again."

*thwack*

"Uhh Malfoy!!!"

-----

"Are you patrolling tonight, Malfoy?"

"No Potter, I'm enjoying a stroll within these lovely halls of course. You know, hoping I run into Severus..."

"No need to get your panties in a bunch, I was just making conversation."

"Go back to your dorm, Potter."

"Say Malfoy, did you get a hang of the spell we learnt in Charms yesterday?"

"Of course."

"How? I jerked my wand in all the right ways, held it just the way Hermione did and nothing came! No spark. no  whi- , Malfoy are you ill? You're going red! Are you going to be sick? MALFOY!"

"God Potter. You naive, naive boy! You numb knuckle! You, you wack-"

*thwack* *thwack*

"Stop it Potter!"

"You deserved it."

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